Wednesday 21 December 2016

The Next Turn

Dear Friend

My journey has taken a new turn... I started this blog A Journey of Greatness
to begin my journey as writer. I have enjoyed the courage that has come from this but, this part of the journey has come to an end. A happy one at that I will be launching a new blog that involves more than just me.

So here we go...
I say we because it is not just me on a journey you are on one too.

Blog launching 1 January 2017

www.mypassion.co.za

Thursday 11 August 2016

To be beautiful

I was never her, the girl that fit into society’s definition of beautiful. I look at TV Series, Movies and pictures on the web and find myself seeking to alter a part of my temple so that I can become her. I look at her thinking wow she is beautiful, translating to I am not. We are not taught to love ourselves as we are, to appreciate the beauty in our uniqueness. So I add and alter till I conform, and ultimately hate myself even more as the façade to fit into your world becomes my greatest burden.

 There is a template of ‘black girl’ out there that my mould does not seem to conform into. My sometimes well-articulated words have had me called intelligent so I took that to hide the ‘smart-mouthed black woman’ that some may been brave to call me. Yet as expected that mask of intelligence failed me. So maybe my mind was not the answer so I brought it down to my heart and expressed my heart and felt at the title ‘angry black woman’. Of course another point to add to my archives of failures. My body I knew to never be the answer for ‘ugly black woman’ I had already claimed.

So, what does it mean to be beautiful?
What does it mean to be black?

The colour of my skin should truly and completely not mean a thing, but it does. It has scared and shaped me and has done even worse to history. Being black, being female has always left in awe:

“For a black girl you really speak English well….”
“For a black girl you really are smart…”
“For a black girl you really are beautiful…”

Why have the lines been drawn?
When will it be okay for me to be me?
Who gets to choose whether or not I can be defined as beautiful?

These questions are not mine, these are ours. You beautiful black girl, who wants to be the first in your family to go to university; you who has fallen in love with someone of outside of your race; you who wants more out of your life than only being someone’s than someone.

Powerful, Beautiful, Smart black girl these are your questions.  

Inspired by Viola Davis




Thursday 4 August 2016

The Beauty of PAIN

I have had the privilege of spending the weekend with my siblings a privilege I call it for that is what it is. I have been struggling to figure out what my blog is truly about, for to label myself an inspiration was too big of a title. A writer a word I feared to call myself for I am not worthy of such a role, a poet a title to I have run from.so who am I and what am I doing what do I have to give... simply put; myself. I do not have any materialistic gifts to bear I have heart passion beauty that’s me.

I have been beautifully moulded by life and all its trials how and when I know not but I do know. something has been altered in my heart. A caged bird set free a voice finally uttered. my brother said something that left me awed, "I love the beauty that we find in the pain we have been through". those words etched some carvings in me.  that was one of those things that had you gasping that really truly honestly all that we go through have gone through and will still go through is not in vain not for nothing.

The thought I often have is that all we go through difficult or not is a reminder to breathe, the hard knocks of life possess beauty and grace. Engraved with the type of lesson that can change my life. I have friends, family, and acquaintances that I hold dear, which I watch from afar and wonder what moves them. I see their significance and miss my own. 

For the lack of a narrative of my own I steel EE Cummings' words 'here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart'- I am someone. Not only, someone's sister, daughter, friend, leader, but someone, an individual worth something. I have some choices to make difficult ones every day. Will I speak? Will I pursue my dreams? Will I have the courage to really write what is in my heart? Will I?

I am a Writer...
my story a working progress
my scars are the grammar
my experiences the intro
my victories the conclusion
I am a Writer...


It has taken me so long to say that to myself least to you. Pain has changed me, hurt me but, I have chosen to find the beauty in its mist for to simply, will it away and have its presence a waste of life is a tragedy A Writer I am but, I am more, what exactly, I still push to discover.


Thursday 10 March 2016

If-

by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you   
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too;   
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   
    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
    And treat those two impostors just the same;   
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   
    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
    If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   
    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Thursday 3 March 2016

They matter, We matter, You matter.

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together” 
-African Proverb

I do not know your pain, but I know mine. Words are my medium of expression, so I write and I tell my story, a story not fully formed and highly flawed but, I write. Last night I decided to do a thing I have not done in a while, to write in my journal. I love to write, obviously but, I don’t always give myself the time, I steal from my own self... 

Okay; I’m digressing, the journal, so after writing I came to discover that my journal entry was covered by the word “I”. I this, I that, I am, I have been, I, I, I. To find that I have consumed my whole life with myself, was a sobering moment for me. It is a simple fact that there is more to life than me. to ask another how are you doing, what is going on in your life, is not a difficult thing not even an obligation but, I believe that the care extended to another human being is Greatness. I never really thought that before but, today I do. 

I have become the center of my own universe as if  the world moves around an axis called me. I like to l think of myself (of course thinking about myself again) as a rather intelligent person, but at the hands of my self-obsession I have become stupid. Missing the lives that inhabit this earth so that I can focus on me I do, yet that is not what should be done.

Introspection is a journey of greatness, it's the stuff that makes us better people, people who understand the value in another human. There is more to life than me that more is you. I don’t even have to try but, switch on my phone to discover that today is a friend’s birthday. it would be yet another folly to take the stance that I do not matter and you first. What I do say is that my life should not just be me it should be you too. Last week I wrote on #blacklivesmatter I am still awed by what people had to say, even more, I am deeply touched by the deep emotions people feel about racism. living lives in isolation, it is comfortable, tranquil even yet to me never truly fulfilling.

Open your heart to hear what people have to say choose to ask difficult questions, in respect. how else will we grow, the people who surround us are not an ornament to abuse but, treasure and love. I admit right now I often forget to see people I walk by like they are merely walls I pass.

The human life is worth dying for and it's definitely worth living for, if only I could remind myself of that every morning, my life would be different but, even more, the lives of the people around me would be different. The I must die.






Thursday 25 February 2016

Black Lives Matter

Being black is not a crime we are neither inferior nor superior. What then are we? 1652 marks the year slavery crept its way into South Africa at the hands of Colonialism, to date that’s 364 years. A document signed and approved in 1996 did not rewrite history that cannot be done. One cannot simply rape a child then take it back with an, I’m sorry. The painful scars of enslavement run in our blood. Many are free raised by slaves so like a  lion raised by a lamb we do not know who we are. So we fight not truly understanding what we are fighting. We protest proudly and for what?

The movement entitled Black Lives Matter to me it is not to say that other races don’t matter but, that black people are humans too, we too do matter. For many years, the value placed on black lives has been astonishing. The painful reality is that black people themselves do not see the value that they carry. This does not exempt me when seeing a white person begging my heart is tugged more, yet I have the audacity to roll up my window at the black kid begging as if to say that could never have been me. Something is wrong with the way I think.  No one taught me to love the skin I have, I have heard of and seen on media of dolls representing people of colour yet I cannot recall touching on with my own hands. My hair is coiled, rough and thick it my natural hair yet even black people still ask ‘when are you going to get your hair done?’ enlighten me what is wrong with it?

I am thankful for what was done to afford me the opportunities that I have today, yet I am not satisfied, we have come this far we need to move forward. The how is what circles my mind because I do not really understand what needs fixing. With an aching stomach I can always go to a medical doctor; without any reservation take his word at what I need to do in order to heal. So with an aching nation where will we choose to go?

Racism, discrimination and segregation is still real it’s the love child we want to ignore, but that child is acting out to be seen and reality is that child cannot be ignored any longer. We say we want equality but, how do we measure that scale. Who dictates the rules?

Being a victim of circumstances is the life story of a black man and woman… it’s what we know. We were given a paper that said we are free but, no one put a roof over our heads, clothes on our bodies, educated our minds; we did get something, enough to allow us to merely exist. There are privileges handed to people just because of the colour of their skin, it sucks being the spectator. Keeping silent and acting like nothing is erroneous I seem to do horribly.

I do not hold any resentment towards any human who is not Black, just like me you did not choose which race to be born into those cards were just dealt into your hands. You suffer, struggle hurt and cry just like me. We were birth from a woman, both breath the same air, are allowed to walk on the same planet, yet my friend we are not the same.

I do not have any answers or solutions but, I do want to be part of them. Not through violence, human degradation or ignorance, history has taught me better.

So I started here, I asked a question to Black(B) and Non-Black(NB) people to sum up in one sentence their life experience being the race they were. Below is what I got: 

B- Black since birth its melanin that runs in my roots, am living proof, blessed and been through institutes but always been colonised by greater institutes.
 #blacklivesmatter

NB- My experience as a white person: it's been blessed, privilege and full of options and being brought up with a sense of this being my rightfull place and at the same time a sense of discomfort in realising the injustice around me, knowing something must change.... hope thats ok it sums up my journey as a white person over the period of my short life so far in a sentence


NB- I long to see a nation where ethnicity is celebrated, for we are all people an \d we are children of the same Africa.

B- Being a black young woman I feel undermined by my male peers (of both caucasian and black descent) in my field of study because I am delving into their professional playground whereby only few women apply or even succeed..

NB- I am the embodiment of the rainbow nation; my genetics are from a broad range of races. Being a dark in complexion mixed race or rather classified as "coloured" individual has its challenges in society. Everyday I get mistake for a different race, the most common is Indian, followed by black, then coloured & even Latino. My experience in life is that I have to work hard to be taken serious on an average day of being considered Indian, coloured or Latino - and I have to work even harder on the days that I'm consider black.


B- Colour Blind, that's how I grew up,being the "black kid on the block" jealously always came my way but love from another race taught me to just be colour blind!

 Now I ask you that very question to:


In one sentence, how is it like to be the race that you are?


This is the face of a Black life that matters #blacklivesmatter

Thursday 18 February 2016

Skin deep

What is it like to wear your skin?
Wearing my own skin is something I know well
I have done it for 22 years
 wearing your skin, I know nothing about 
I never grew up with your parents
Well, unless you are Lloyd or Floyd
 your joys and sorrows
I never share shared 
 in your shoes, I have never walked
they would be too big or too small
 through your days at school, I was never there
I don’t know your story
but, I know that you have one
and I know
it is as real to you as mine is to me.

So what is it like to wear your skin?
What makes you cry?
What make you laugh?
How many times have you mended
your broken heart?
How many times have you stepped on a scale
and felt your stomach turn?
What make you cry most
the fact that your father is not around
or that your mother doesn’t get you?
Do you always feel like a failure
or does that come and go?
Do you regret getting married?
Do you wish you could carry your child’s illness?
Do you ever smile?
Who hurt you?
Why the anger?
Does the name calling ever get to you?
Does anyone ever look you in the eye?
Do you have a friend?
Are you afraid of what the future holds?
Are you tired of answering, I’m fine
every time someone asks how are you?
Who knows your story?
Who has heard your pain?
Are you okay like, really are you okay?

So what is it like to wear your skin?

What is it like to wear my skin?
Painful at times yet the scars are healing well
Lonely at times but, the silence can be beautiful
Scary at times yet I have come out stronger
I know this to be true
I have seen the sun come up in the morning
And down in the evening
Some days I wished to end sooner
others never at all
but, all I got was 24 hours
Which come and went.

As much as we can relate
I will never know what it means to wear your skin.

So what is it like?



Thursday 11 February 2016

St. Valentine the old Romantic fool

Born in Rome 14th February Lupercalia, was a product of a Roman fertility rite; which entailed his father to pick a name from an urn and mate with a stranger till a child was born. Under the leadership of Pope Gelasius the circumstances surrounding his birth were deemed an un-Christian act and was forced to change his name to Valentine. As he grow he learnt that in England and France his birthday coincided with the mating of birds, he thought that to be romantic. With such a fate of love on his life he thought it noble that he bring love birds together, so he became a priest. In his time of service he befriended two men in the Catholic Church who too were named Valentine but, were sadly martyred.

He continued his quest to bring love birds together yet Emperor Claudius II disagreed; he needed focused soldiers and unmarried soldier were the best kind. In all him power the Emperor prohibited the marriage of young people. In all secrecy St. Valentine continued to bring young birds together. The Emperor however found out and locked him away to never see day light again. St. Valentine’s jailer had a blind daughter, Julia whom he grew fond of, he prayed with her everyday till her sight was restored. A love grew between the too, but to his heart's demise the love would never blossom for he was to be executed. In his last days he wrote a letter to his love, dear Julia, signed From Your Valentine. St. Valentine was executed on the 14th of February and buried in the Church of Praxedes in Rome; out of love Julia planted red roses by a tree near his grave.

To keep her loves memory alive she had cards made and told friends to share them with a love one. A tradition grew, by her death every 14th of February celebrated her first love. Today Valentine’s day is the second most popular card-sending holiday after Christmas grossing 15 million cards exchanged annually.

The actual history of Valentine’s Day is a mystery, the day itself is beautiful and tragic…

….however yours may go Happy Valentine’s Day.


Thursday 4 February 2016

I am a Vessel


I can only be filled from a limitless river
My content is what gives me worth
Not the beauty that I do carry on the
outside
I have been broken before
and all my content spilt out
but, slowly through different processes
my Creator put me back together again
I never lost my beauty when he put me together again
I went back to the overflowing river
and was filled.
I am a vessel
What I carry on the inside is what gives me my depth.
What I carry inside is who I am.
What I carry inside reveals the true nature of my creator.
I am a vessel
I have learned to stay in the presence of my ever flowing source.
I no longer have to worry about being empty
because I am constantly overflowing
When I overflow I fill the other vessels,
Vessels which still need to be filled
When I look around at the empty vessels
they all remind me of me
When I was stuck with the dilemma:
WHO AM I?
Then I realised…
the only way I could ever know
why I was made?
was to ask my CREATOR
and I did
then I learned  I was born to be filled
and to overflow
so that I that I can fill
I am a vessel
I may look like an ordinary object
Overflowing with some kind of content
but, if you come a little closer
You will realise
That I am one of the most extraordinary
Creations ever created

I AM VESSEL

Thursday 28 January 2016

No Love Forgotten

by Dipuo Molomo


Loved you like a sister
But like a God created weather forecast
That love disappeared the same way
Teardrops disappeared from my eye
When I cried about loving someone like you
Caught in a serious cross firing roads
One is Love and the other is Hate
Poor little me is scared and shaken by the choice
Ahead!

The road less travelled is Beautiful
So beautiful that it reminded me of
The first time you smiled and your eyes sparkled
That moment was so breathe taking
Breathe taking it was, because from that moment
I intentionally and free willing trapped and wrapped
Myself into a spell cast by me, the author of a tragedy!
Not a beautiful tragedy,
But one that makes Romeo and Juliet
Seem like a Happily Ever After fairy-tale

Hating you is no option and loving you is out of the question!
Like the time that is infinite and also timeless
Time travel isn't a gift made by God
Thus I can't - and my caged heart won't go back
Won't go back to that place, where I once
Adored you as must as the beautiful sounds
Of chipping birds on a sunny, cloudless summer morning!

Never been the "dear diary" writing type
But found my hand moving and leaving letters and alphabets in a book. With a cover DIARY
Asked little me, 'what is this?'
With a proud response and answer little me said
'I write in this book because like an innocent fool
Mistakes made need be recorded
Mistakes made need be recorded'
Thought to myself you are that one mistake
I don't regret but never wanna make again!

Like John Legend I loved all of you
And yes you were that worst distraction and
My rhythm and blues
Kept my heart chasing the rhythm
Chasing the rhythm of the false heart beat you gave

Caged my heart to prevent it from being
Shattered into billion microscopic molecules
That drifts away in the galaxy of the diamonds
Found in your eyes
Caged my heart from loving anyone because, once
Upon a Time - Every time you come into my life you Ripped an inch of my innocent heart.
And I keep bleeding
You love me not!


Thursday 14 January 2016

The lost Pearls

Young and ambitious she took to the world
knowing not who she was 
allowed the world to define her
in a whirlwind she went
being tossed to and fro 
by every wind
by every song 
by every idol
there they went 
her pearls
she watched them roll away
thinking that they weren’t her own
laughing even at the poor soul that had lost their pearl
how stupid she said
knowing not that stupid was her
and she was it
it took a dark night to gain sober judgement
she felt her neck 
it was bare
those pearls were hers
and they had rolled away
with a string of dignity
she scurried away and tried to find her pearls
she picked every pearl she could find
some were hers 
others were not
some weren’t even pearls
all that was real she took
her string of dignity no longer barren
she found something
through pain
through heartache
through courage
she found
wisdom




Thursday 7 January 2016

Adapt or Die

In a constantly changing environment an organism has to adapt in order to survive this Charles Darwin theories. Life being what it is; it is constantly changing: we grow up; we move; we meet new people; we lose people; we start and finish ventures. Life is ever changing and compels us to do the same. ‘What changes are you making in your life?’ it is a question someone could have asked since it is a new year. This brings me to think about what changes I am making. Furthermore are those changes to my advancement or determent?

Sometimes changes hurts.
I take that back. Most times change hurts.

Often broken bones don’t heal properly or completely, it could be because the bone was shattered, infected, you could have a medical condition that inhibits proper healing or be a smoker which too inhibits healing. This may result in pain or a disability; of which would alter the function of the body.

Many of us have adapted, we are clearly not dead but, we walking around in pain; some have been doing it for so long we have become good at keeping the pain hidden. So we will say:
 ‘I’m fine’,
‘It’s okay’,
‘don’t worry about it’,
‘it’s cool’.  

How many variations of ‘I’m fine’ have you uttered in your life?

People call you strong, brave for what you did and what you went through… and yes you are, the fact that you are still standing is a testimony to that.


Yet my friend tell me this, if you were a strong horse having endured many winters but, came to your coldest winter, and doing what you do grew longer fur, if an opportunity were to come to allow you to go to warmer shelter, would you go or just adapt? 


© A Journey of Greatness
Maira Gall