A Rainy Day

I love the rain I really do, it doesn't always come when I want it to and sometimes it comes and stays a little too long but, for me that is always a blessing.

To revel in the cool after a blazing heat;

to gaze upon the sunset peeping through the tight crevices of the overcast sky;

to feel the light patters on your skin;

to sniff the freshness of the soil;

to wallow in the warmth of a cosy blanket;

that’s the beauty that comes with rain.

It’s also my very narrow view because I forget:

the leaking roof flooding the house;

the soaking walk to the bus station;

the muddy drive to work;

the drenched blankets of  the citizens of the streets

the damaged uninsured buildings eroding away

now that’s the ugly that comes with rain.

Where are you in the rain?

2014 is slipping away and 2015 is creeping in, both these words ‘slipping’ and ‘creeping’ have such bad connotation. So maybe I should rather say…

WOW I am struggling to find a word the accurately describes ending without a bad connotation as if to say that one cannot end a season well. Beginnings on the other hand are different; they are associated with joy and beautiful things.

So what does that mean for us seeing that 2014 and 2015 is separated by mere seconds?

The many coins of life have 2 sides; you cannot choose one and go with that on for eternity. Often the good gives us rest and time to prepare, the bad reveals who we are and pushes us yet these two things do not last forever. Just like the rain and just like the years, seasons come and go.

Merry Christmas and a *(you choose)* New Year

It has been 1 year thank you for reading my Blog this is the last of 2014 see you next year no matter were you are on your Journey...

Dare to Dream

 

 In His Book ‘As a Man Thinketh’ James Allen wrote ‘The dreamers are the saviors of the world. As the visible world is sustained by the invisible…’ that line blows my mind. To be audacious would be to dream and I dream. I dream big bigger than I could imagine, I sometimes scare myself with the dreams that I have.

Of all things in life I know this to be true about myself I was never born to be average, or live an average life, that is not a life for me. My life is that of learning, growing, loving and living life to the fullest.  Which means that every day is as important as the next, yet today is my greatest task. The year is almost over, a new season awaits us ahead so what does that mean?

It means that we have more tasks to complete it means we have bigger dreams to go after it means that we have yet another opportunity to be great, yet another opportunity to achieve greatness, it means life waits for us to live it not the other way around.

I recited a poem once called ‘Learning to Fly’ by Dale Wicks it’s a poem I was far too young to recite seeing that till this moment I  still do not fully grasp it. What I do know is that it is about life and never allowing its hard knocks to keep you down. So today I leave you with this poem and hope you remember to always fly…

LEARNING TO FLY

Brought into this place thru

flood and with blood

Wide eyed with curiosity

You are raised by children

Values inserted

Emotions surround and devour

Peers accept and reject

You choose and are burned

You try and you learn

Chastened by fear

Values adjusted

Then you fight

Failing often

Walls established

Some erode

Others remain, Perhaps forever

Values tested

Love is experienced

and you know it

Trust awakens

Joy shows her face

Mercy and faith

Then pain

Values refined

Strength gives way

Faculties fail

Time to return

One question,

Did you learn how to fly?

© Dale Wicks

 

Yes, I'm Two faced

I wish I could write to you from a place of perfection

I wish I could

a place completely loved and adore by all

a place transparent as the air

a place with no past mistakes and bad days

a place where I am always right about everything

a place where I know it all and have it all

but, I am not that

I am strong

I speak with eloquence

I am a loyal friend

I do most things with all my heart

I seek to understand

I love to learn

I live to serve

I don't take life for granted

I tend to remember to say, Thank You

yet I am also

impatient

fussy

overly critical

quick with my tongue

I do not eat right

sometimes too I'm reserved

I take on too much

see the thing; not the person

not qualified

There are two sides to the coin called me

so yes I do have two faces

I seek to merge the two and fail most times  

I am fine dying unknown but,

I want what I have done do live on...

I am GREAT

but, this is ME...
but, only a glimpse
this time, not because I am afraid to show you who I am
but, because I too, am still discovering who I am.

The Families we are Born into.

In this life we are afforded many choices and whether we are intentional or not we still have a choice. Out of the many choices in life I have the family I was born into was not one of them. I did not get to choose in which family I would be born into. That was never up to me I just was born and from that point I was given a few more choices at first they were limited. As a child I didn’t get to choose what clothes I wore that choice feel on my parents then I grew a bit older and the choice was mine. As a child I was feed food I had a choice to either eat or not but what I got feed what not my choice not that I am not living with my parents what enters into my body is up to me. As a youth I found myself in a school and after a while I had the choice to stay on not.

My life has had a trend, of ‘not up to me’ to ‘completely up to me’. In the ‘not up to me’ stage it was a time I didn’t have the physical capacity to do tasks on my own and the wisdom to make decisions on my own. At that stage my family made all the decisions for me, not because only because I was incapable but, someone had to teach me. So basically they had control of my life and they did a good job. This I would not know unless I entered the ‘completely up to me’ stage.

In the ‘completely up to me’ stage I’m faced with decisions I need to make from the simple ‘what will I have for breakfast?’ to the not so simple ‘what type of person am I choosing to be?.’ This stage does not mean I walk alone but, I have to choice to include my family/friends in how and what decisions I make. Ultimately the choice is mine.

I think that I am too old now to put blame on my family for a messed up character, I have a choice of all that I have learned from my family of the good and the bad its up to me what I take and what I leave. So with the kind hearts of the women in my family, if I am not kind I do not get to blame them for it is a decision I have made.

The family I never choose to be born into is a family that I love and admire. It’s a family with imperfections but, a deep love that has the grace to help me through my own imperfections. It’s a family that teaches me a lot yet always remembers my birthday, a family that through the thick chooses to become closer and stronger. I didn’t get to choose my family but the one that I got I love.

Show UP

I recently started jogging and as I jog, people would say ‘hey I will join you sometime’, or ‘...come get me the next time you jog’. The interesting thing is that I have found that very few people would actually show up the day of the jog or after I had told them when we are jogging.  As much as I want to achieve something in life I have found that I say I want to do something and go somewhere yet I don’t even show up. In most instances the first thing that I need to do is show up.

Knock, knock is anybody home?

*silence*

People have showed up in my life, some have been very good and influential others not so good and what did I do, nothing. I don’t know what I missed. Honestly I can say that in some cases I peeped through the whole and saw a gun; my response was not to answer in that case I dodged a bullet. Allow me to blow my own horn and say that, that was a wise move. Other times in fear I hid not even to peep through the whole to see what lay ahead.

The most interesting times have been when I knocked peeped and opened. I was willing to listen and see what I could do with the opportunity presented and the choice would lie with me do I take a chance or decline. My favourite times have been those rear, very rear times when I opened the door and a gift lay on the floor.

Knock, knock.

(peep through whole, safe to open)

*open*

Stranger: “Welcome to Life.”

The Climb

Over the last month, I have been privileged to have traveled to Swaziland on an outreach with 10 other people. The experience was amazing and during that time, we learned so much. We had an amazing opportunity to climb the highest point in Swaziland and that was an adventure. So much of the experience of climbing a mountain reminded me of life. There were different terrains and obstacles to face. We walked through:

·         A small forest land
·         Rocky paths
·         Very steep hills and
·         Grassland

Some places were easy to walk through and others

weren't. I was tired way before we were even half way and there were times I was ready to quit and just wait for everyone else to get to the top then find me on their way back. I didn’t quit; I struggled through till I reached the top, we all did. Reaching the top was spectacular the view was amazing and worth every sore muscle.

The interesting thing was that climbing down was fast and so much easier than climbing up but the last 500m was torture because you can see were you need to go but, it seems like too much.

The mountain hike was only just the beginning we got to see and experience a different way of life. The one big thing that stood out to me was the people. Swazi people are so friendly and very open to conversations; it is so refreshing to walk pass people who will greet you.  We worked with a lot of young people and that is a humbling experience. To be corrected by someone much younger than you is a test of character, it will drive you crazy the entire day. I am not a teenager anymore but, I’m only 21, I learned so much from the teens we were with and I also got to reminisce on my not so wise teen moments.

A great moment for me was going into the villages and being with people and not focused on technology because there was no network reception. It made me re-evaluate what I deem important. I remember visiting an old lady by the name Lucy, her children had all died and she was left alone with just neighbours. The thing that struck me about her was that she didn't have much, no family, no money, and no job but, with the little she did have she gave. She had a straw basket with nuts which she had picked from the ground and she gladly shared them with us and when we had finished our hand full she insisted that we have more.

 I live in a world where we fight to get ‘stuff’ and to get ‘stuff’ done and through all this we miss the people, we even claim to be doing these ‘stuff’ for. I realised that I miss people, I don’t always see them or notice and when I do, I rarely acknowledge them. I've walked passed greatness and not even know because I’m so focused on achieving greatness.

I have missed you and I am sorry.

It is Indeed True

It is indeed true that even with my acute English

I am incapable of loving a friend.

It is indeed true that even with my fancy car

I am incapable of relating to others.

It is indeed true that even with my decorated intellect

I am incapable of understanding poverty and pain.

It is indeed true that even with my highly acclaimed title 

I am incapable of winning a child's friendship.

It is indeed true that even with my ostentatious wealth

I am incapable of escaping death.

It is indeed true that with my marvellous strength

even I am incapable of carrying the burdens of others. 

It is indeed true that how I appear to be

means nothing in comparison to who I actually am.

So, where do we go from here…

Well,

I am not without hope

I am not without gratitude

I am awed and humbled

What about you?

First Choice

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We often seek to be the first choice the first person thought about for a position, someone’s first love, the first nominated leader. Yet because of what life is we aren’t always first choice, we may even be the best for the job but, we are not always the first choice. It is not actually bad except for our prestigious ego. You see we want recognition without the prospect or reality of failure or being overlooked.

So often we find ourselves in a position yet because we were not the first choice we sulk and feel inadequate with a hunch on our back with a sign boldly stated, ‘I was not the first choice’. I say hunch because we lower our heads and hide the sign boldly stated on our foreheads ‘yet I got the job’. The people who chose you were willing to search through it all maybe you were the last choice, the last resort but, they still chose you for that position. They scanned through everyone and choose you. You beat the odds so stop sulking you have something to be grateful about.

At the end of the day you are the one with the position and not the first choice. So straighten your back lose the attitude and be the best. Work hard, you may think that it doesn’t pay off but, it does. People remember brilliance and people fire, dump and replace idiots.

So maybe, first choice is not always the best choice, it feels good and works wonders for our egos but, people love an underdog. They have inspiring stories and you have nowhere else to go but up. Climb that ladder, but pace yourself and keep sober with the reality that ‘yet I got the job’. Be bold, tenacious and humble... I have no idea how you will get that combination right but, try. You can work hard to be in a first ‘place’ but, being first ‘choice’ is not up to you that is someone else’s choice it’s beyond your control so take a deep breath and do your part.

My Mother’s voice of reason

Ever since I’ve moved out of the house, I have come to learn that my mother was right. I don’t need a large amount of detergent in the washing machine, a little does go a long way. Now, that I have to buy my own detergent, firstly I know how much that stuff costs so a little WILL go a long way.

 My mother was not the only one that was right; my father, my grandmothers, my aunts, my uncles, my brothers, my cousins, my high school teachers and my friends (giving them the benefit of the doubt). They were all right. Not about the detergent but, about life. People have been making input into my life but, I haven’t always listened or taken them seriously and after some time I have been able to see how just maybe they might be right. Through life I have come to realise that it is worth listening and taking action; than facing consequences as a result of your own ignorance.

People do talk nonsense but, when it’s people who love you just maybe it’s not always nonsense. There could be great value, so take it however it comes. It may need to be sieved through but at least take heed to it. Anyone can live this life as an island, without allowing anyone to make input but, why do that. There is so much to be learned from each other, take every opportunity you have to allow people to invest into your life and you in theirs...

I want to be GREAT but, not alone I want to be able to enjoy that greatness with other people who are enjoying it too. It’s like a great meal yes it’s amazing but, it’s weird if people are watching you enjoy it alone. So how about we share that meal together. Let’s be generous with our greatness.

Excellence

I want to live a life of excellence, to want that is not enough I need to put some stuff into action. Taking each day as it comes... wait what does that mean ‘taking each day as it comes’? People like to say things like that, eat an elephant one bite at a time; take one step at a time; go through it slowly, take it easy; slow down. In the context of life, you need to be more specific at least with me.

Get practical I love the ‘idea’ of a theory but, there is so much in doing things that have power and I think that is what excellence is about. In the context of my life, I would say that when I am working on huge assignments take it a section at a time, do that one thing then move on to the next part. I guess that would be eating the elephant one bite at a time.

In my personal I seek for balance. Physically what I eat, how much and when I exercise? Socially, when and with whom should I interact? Intellectually, what am I reading and studying? Emotionally, am I processing things correctly and am I getting enough rest? I can’t work on all these things at the same time equally so in different seasons of my like I may pay more attention to one aspect of my life more than another. For example, in the exam season, I may find myself studying more than exercising… I will shelf that in my take it one step at a time section.

When learning something new I can go crazy and just Google accumulating knowledge but, not actually going through it. So maybe I should read it thoroughly and one sentence at a time understanding what is being said and actually thinking about it not just collecting ‘stuff’. That sounds like going through it slowly.

I tend to be more of a workaholic it’s not healthy although some may see it as a high work ethic it’s just the opposite extreme of laziness. With this reality I know I need to take breaks, take time out to sleep more, eat, read leisurely, so that’s what taking it easy means.

Slow down… LOL!!! Not everything has to be done quickly like a conversation with friends and family why rush through that, it is not a waste it is an investment in the relationship.

This is what excellence is about breaking everything down to understand it and do it well.

That was never your, fight to fight.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation or a place you should never have been in, in the first place?

Some things in life happen to us which are beyond our control, things we have no power to change. Then there are things that happen which we could have avoided, things which we really could have not been part of. It’s your fight when it involves your life that’s your fight to fight. When it affects your future, that’s your fight so fight it, with everything in you FIGHT.

Then there are things that are not our problem, not our fights there we need to tread lightly, with caution and wisdom. Choose your fights well; don’t find yourself in situations you could have avoided. There is no need to cause chaos in our lives and in the lives of the people around us. Fight your own fights and let other people be.

You have one journey to walk your own; it is never ever your responsibility to walk someone else’s journey. Even a parent can’t walk for their toddler they can walk along side but, they cannot walk for them that is on the child to do.

Live your life well and fully, live your life not others because you can’t. You live your life with people around you not for them.

Fight your own fights.

Put your gloves on.

Steady your feet.

Straighten your back.

Hold your fists up right.

Put your weight into your punch.

Kick with precision.

Fight.

Mathematics

The only thing that I like about mathematics is that there is only one answer to every problem. If the answer is different then it’s for a different question. Its clear cut and straight forward, it may be a challenge getting to the answer but, the answer exists.

Life is not so. There are some questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no and that’s that. It’s a few questions, which are that simple. Most questions, I have come to learn are not easy to answer and it may take a long process to end up at an answer. I have so many uncertainties like every other person around me and sometimes I let those uncertainties overwhelm me.  Growing up is difficult and it hurts responsibility can be such a hateful thing and may present itself as a huge burden but, with wisdom let us adjust.

Let’s not fall into the trap of being confined by our circumstances and situations we have brains let’s use them.  I had a view about life and it changed as I grew up and some things remained the same. Then the things that changed remained the same and the things that remained the same changed. Ultimately my view of life changed but, where or not life changed I don’t know. What I do know is that I choose not to lose hope in the times that life took me on a ride. Of all things it has made me stronger, at this very moment of my life I would say I’m at a sharp turn. A sharp turn would need me to ride with caution and with an open heart to receive any good advice.

I know very few things about life there is a reason why I’m still 21 I have a long way to go and a lot to learn but, I’m not giving up…

In my sharp turns

In my wrong turns

In my smooth curves

In my cruises

In my halts

And yields

I don’t intend on giving up, I’m making that decision now so that when those moments come my mind is already set. 

Your mediocrity is killing us...

Some of you were born to be...

Great fathers

Great mothers

Great lawyers

Great doctors

Great teachers

Great accountants

Great nurses

Great politicians

Great leaders

Yet you are stuck

In whatever situation

Life has handed you

You quit

You quit on us not just yourself

You were born for greatness

The world is broken

It needs your Greatness

Someone is waiting for you to wake up

You were born

You were created

You were destined

….for greatness

So go out and be great

Questions

There are certain questions in life that you could live your whole life without asking if not that answering them but, that is not important. What is important is whether or not you can live at peace with the unasked questions/unanswered questions?

Who are you?

Where is home?

Who are your true friends?

Are you at peace?

What is love?

How are you?

What does it matter to you?

What do you value?

Who do you trust?

What keeps you up at night?

What is right?

What is good?

…

Do these questions really matter?

Maybe, just maybe my story can change the world

Have you ever read or heard a story that changed some part of your perspective on life. I have, quite a few times actually. Many times the author goes unknown, yet it changes your life; even if it is just a small part of it.

We have experiences which hurt us, sometimes even break us yet we are still here and we are still alive. Broken and cracked we stand and for that reason, I would go to extremes and say that we are strong and there is hope.

There is Hope.

We live in a crazy world and I recently discovered that there is nothing new about that. As a wise King once said “…there is nothing new under the sun. It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.” There is a lot to be learned from the wise, the old and the dead. Great men and women have walked before us. Great men and women walk along side of us. And, great men and women we are.

So…

What’s your story?

Everyone has a story to tell

a book to write

a poem to recite

a mouth to feed

a door to close

a window to open

a tear to shed

a person to love

a task to complete

a wound to heal

a burden to carry

a treasure to find

a truth to reveal

a nation to conquer

and, a story to tell...

What does it mean to you?

Humility

Releasing my caged bird

A father who worked at the zoo was given two eggs so he took them home to his twin daughters. Once the birds had grown, Sarah let hers go because she wanted her bird’s beauty to be displayed for all to see. On the other hand her sister, Simone  kept hers locked in a cage, in the house; because she always wanted to see its beauty. Who are you, Sarah or Simone? The destiny of these birds isn't evident at that moment.  Sarah’s bird could be shot and killed or it could go fly and reveal its beauty for the world to see Simone’s bird could be well kept after, yet never freed.

...words move me

Words move me to a point that when I utter them I have the ability to move others. The first time I recited a poem I was 14 years old I was shocked at how good I was and how easy it came to me to manipulate words to invoke emotions in people. From that point, I knew that I was good. Yet just knowing that you are good is not enough to make you great. Everyone has something placed inside of them, which if seen or heard will ignite great things in other people. There may be something that you do that moves people, identify it and sharpen your sword.

One of the main reasons that I started this blog was my need to release my poetry. I write, I write when happy, when sad when inspired; I write. You know that question... if your house were to burn down and you were given the opportunity to get one thing, what would that thing be? Well, my one thing is my file, with my poetry and other pieces of writing in it. That file inspired this blog, you see as deep and personal as it may be I believe it’s to be shared. I wanted to let my bird fly. There is such great freedom in sharing your heart because “as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people do the same”(Marianne Williamson). It is a scary thing to do; you worry about what other people will say or how they will respond to your bird. In reality, not everyone will like what you have to give nor will they necessarily like you but, that is no reason to keep that bird caged.

...what moves you?

Maya Angelou… Let’s Celebrate Greatness

Still I Rise

Maya Angelou

(4 April 1928-28 May 2014)

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may tread me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

http://www.brainpickings.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/mayaangelou.jpg

Image Driven... ID

When last did you walk out of the house and not care about what you were wearing?

What matters most to you, your own opinion of yourself or other people’s opinion of you?

Which relationships have you formed in your life that was not based on an image?

Do you value truth?

In history, the youth fought for freedom; the right to be heard and the liberty to live in harmony with each other. Now, that is over. The youth is still fighting but, for different reasons. The battle is no longer about the issues of living but, the issue of image.

This is a different battle altogether. The battlefield is now malls, schools, parties and other social based locations. Anyone with sense knows good and well that you do not go to war empty handed because that is a death wish. Weapons of this age are gadgets, labels, clothes, cars, social acquaintances and other factors that would elevate you on a social scale.

If you have not noticed, the way some people live is not to enrich themselves or others but, instead, it’s to enrich their image. We have turned everything into a matter about “me” and never “us”. Breaking News: Life does not revolve around an axis called “me”. There is more to life than image but, don’t get me wrong, image is important; it’s just not the most important thing in this life. There are so many other aspects of life you should look into. Learn something about yourself, teach yourself something new.

Keeping up an image can be so tiring, it takes up so much money and energy, it can easily turn into self-deception. The relationships that you have with people can easily fade away when they are bases upon the superficial. All cliques have some sort of “conditions” whether verbalized or not. Some require that you be rich, have a girlfriend/boyfriend, play sports, wear certain types of clothes, be plastic etc.… Have you ever thought of being in a clique that requires honesty, loyalty, being yourself, learning, appreciating life?

Image needs people to ‘put it on display’.

Where do you stand?

Apart from what you have led people to think about who you are;

apart from the places you have been;

apart from the friends that you have.

Who are you?

Can you stand in an empty world, alone, naked and be happy?

?

What’s your thing?

What’s your thing?

What’s the thing that,

when you look in the mirror you have something negative to say?

What’s your thing?

...is it maybe your…

Nails

Toes

Feet

Legs

Thighs

Stomach

Breasts

Hands

Arms

Shoulders

Back

Neck

Chin

Lips

Noes

Cheeks

Eyes

Eyebrows

Ears

Head

Hair

…did I not name it?

What’s your thing?

The thing you toil to change

The thing you label ugly

What’s your thing, the very thing God Created?

And called Very Good

What’s your thing?

Mine is my stomach

Which from this day forth, I choose to love

So, to you, stomach I write this poem

And say

I Love You

Even though you annoy me

I choose to Love You